Mom's Birthday - We Miss You!

I didn't want to let this day pass without a memory of Mom. She would have been 87 today. Instead, she is infinite and will always be so. (I think she would like that description.) Here is a poem she wrote in her wonderful book of poetry that we only discovered as she was leaving us. As Dad remarked recently in an e-mail: "She was deeper than she showed." There is always an urge to believe that someone who has departed is actually still with us. By reading these words of hers and seeing her handwriting, she seems very close.

It rained for five days in a row and this is our reward. I took this picture from the patio outside the break room at Edmunds.com. It's amazing how even the telephoto lens on my little point-n-shoot camera collapses the distance between the photographer and the subject. The highest peak you see is Mount San Antonio, known locally as Mount Baldy, which is 10,052 feet. We don't get many views like this so we have to savor it. Many people don't even know there are mountains around Los Angeles because we can't see them often. A friend has a funny saying: "Oh look! They put the mountains up today."

Racing School in the Desert

Every year we have to go to driving school so we can get a break on the Edmunds.com insurance. We go to a track north of Lancaster (where the space shuttle lands) and drive these modified Toyota Celicas. They have cages inside, a stiff suspesion and LOUD exhausts. Yesterday it rained so we were skidding all over the track. Luckily, no one crashed into each other. But the end of the day my ears are ringing. This is a picture of me with my helmet on, waiting to go out onto the track.

About Families and Hospitals

Yesterday I had to have a colonoscopy and I spent a lot of time thinking about Mom and what she is going through. When you check into the hospital they take complete control of you. They take your clothes, your valuables and your dignity. And once they put that IV in your hand you can't even run away. I was dreading this "routine" examination ever since I turned 50 and my doctor started brow beating me to do it. Vivian helped me prepare for it by getting jello and the other things I was still allowed to drink. Then Drew and Tony drove me to the surgery center (yes, "surgery," even though I'm completely fine!). The nurses were very nice and it didn't really hurt since I was under a twilight sedative. The first thing I remember when I woke up was Drew and Tony walking in and looking a little nervous at seeing their Dad flat on his back in a hospital gown (Vivian was at work so she couldn't come get me). I was trying to be really alert and cool but they later told me I referred to the nurses as "librarians." At home, I lay on the couch napping while they brought me coffee and a raisin toast, soup and later a delicious buffalo burger. Having my family helping me put my mind at rest. I know that Dad, Kat, Pete, Jack and Kristin are doing this for Mom, too, as she works her way through this difficult time.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm 58 years old which is somehow unexpected. It seems when I last checked I was about 41. The only thing I've learned about growing older is that there is nothing at all you can do to prevent it. I've also learned that life becomes more precious as there is less of it. I'd say the past five years have held some moments of joy and peace that my earlier days didn't contain. And there are many more years to come. Thank you to my wonderful family for all the gifts, cards, calls and birthday wishes. And here is a picture of me taken by Drew with a camera I got as a present.

Once, These Were Just Hills

As we hiked around San Francisco I let my mind dwell on the fact that once these hills were just hills. If I could go back and gaze at that scene of natural beauty, would it be more rewarding than what greets the eye now? I decided that no, this urban landscape, created by humans, was vastly more interesting to look at. It's the complexity, the interconnectedness, which is so amazing. There is so much to look at, so many shapes and shadows, so many different purposes for the structures: houses, offices, monuments, freeways and bridges. I could spend a long time watching the clouds move about this landscape, changing the light and shadows. Take a moment, enlarge the picture, and visit this place yourself.

Each in His Own Way

We visited Audy this weekend and she said that Tony was "cute." I told Mom this when I talked with her in the hospital. She thought it over and replied, "Drew is handsome and Tony is cute." I took this picture of them riding the "Muni" in San Francisco this weekend and all I can say is I'm very proud of them both.